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AKYL, Literature

Remember when books were full of information? They would teach people or provide interesting commentary, insight and ideas? Short of that they were a way to escape into another world. Unfortunately I now want to escape into another world because of a book and that is NOT a good thing. It’s because I do not want to be in a world in which this is an actual book. This thing was published. It’s on the site of a world-known bookseller. Even if it’s only in an online format. AKYL, literature.

Twilight was bad enough. The fact that I even have to italicize its name because it really is a published best-seller should make humanity weep. A book that teaches young girls that if the guy they like leaves them they should go into a catatonic state of whininess and cease to exist until the guy comes back? I’m all for having less annoying people in the world but essentially giving up on your life because a sparkly vampire is no longer in it is almost as ridiculous as this hair “book.” Can we call this a book? This is a collection of poems and letters which includes an homage to Justin Bieber’s hair. This is not a joke. However, the lives of anybody who reads it  and the lives of the people who wrote it most definitely are. There are no words. There are no words that can express how I feel about the fact that this is happening aside from ‘crucio’ and ‘avada kedavra.’ This is the future of literature, world. Somewhere, in a stately castle on the British countryside, JK Rowling is weeping. AKYL.

This was sent to me by Horen. I sincerely hope Horen did not get this book. If you have an AKYL to submit email lv7thinks@gmail.com. Judgement is free…. for now.

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2601 comments

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  1. Luke says:

    FUCK YOU BIEBER!

  2. Anna says:

    Justin Bieber is just a hype. Within 5 years he’ll be forgotten and become a drug addict. Nobody will remember this “book” anymore by then.

    1. eattheworld18 says:

      Hopefully…

    2. Milda says:

      it’s like the jonas brothers all over again

      1. DezzieLestrange says:

        @Milda..Jonas Brothers were never as bad or as popular as beiber is though. They were mostly just disney stars. Beiber is just….everywhere. ugh

  3. Amanda says:

    There’s probably something in there about his pubic hair as well O.o

    1. Lena says:

      Ew… Why did you have to put that image in my mind? D: Need brain bleach ASAP.

    2. Ella says:

      Don’t you have to hit puberty before getting pubes?

      1. Maggie says:

        Puberty will never hit Justin Bieber. It’s not nice to hit girls.

  4. Sarah says:

    Leave him the hell alone! You’re just jealousss

    1. Stephanie says:

      Jealous of what, his future drug addition, or of how desperately he’ll have to cling to fame in a few years when someone new comes along? Can someone say Jonas Brothers?

      1. DeathKiss19 says:

        Jealous of? Let me guess his girly voice and gay-ish looks??
        Agree with stephanie! :P
        Now that you say our Lord is jealous CRUCIO! AND GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS SITE!!

        1. DezzieLestrange says:

          Agree with Stephanie and DeathKiss, what exactly does he have to be jealous of?
          Being stalked by 12 year olds? Sounding like a girl? Having someone write about his hair, that is so ugly anyway and should be chopped off? Im swimming in jealousy..not.
          AKYL, Sarah.

      2. lib says:

        he may be forgotten in a few year but he’s way richer and hasmore talent than your dumbass

    2. Anissa says:

      Yes, I’m green with envy. I’ve always wanted to have a gay haircut.
      AKYL, stupid.

      1. Lucy says:

        @Anissa
        If you don’t like Justin Bieber, that’s fine. If you don’t like his haircut (can you say ‘petty’?), that’s fine too. But please stop using ‘gay’ as an adjective. All it accomplishes is encouraging homophobia. JK Rowling would not approve.

    3. Anonymous says:

      Sarah, if you are DEFENDING him, (can I call Justin Bieber a him?) then you do not belong on this website.

    4. Patty says:

      AKYL, Muggle. You clearly don’t belong on this website of faithful Death Eaters. Go join a Bieber fansite or something if you aren’t going to appreciate the sarcastic wit and epicness of the Dark lord.

    5. May says:

      Why the hell are you even on this site…. If you love the Beaver so much, you should become a beaver animagus, build a dam and live in it, and take that stupid book with you. Just save us all the trouble of having to put up with you. AKYL.

    6. Michael says:


      I don’t even know how to respond…
      Can you give me one thing to be jealous of? Don’t say he has fans, because he only has 7 million fans, and I hate to break it to you, but there’s more than 7 million people in the world.

    7. Lucius says:

      Sarah I don’t think the Dark Lord would be jealous of anything Justin Bieber owns not even his nose.

  5. Therissa says:

    That is frightening

    1. Kamryn says:

      I’m not wrhtoy to be in the same forum. ROTFL

    2. Bobs says:

      That’s the best ansewr of all time! JMHO

  6. Nina says:

    That manipulation is ridiculous, seriously o.O

  7. Cassy says:

    Well, back to the Panic Room for me then…

    1. Hayden says:

      And it’s back to the underground bomb shelter for me.

      1. Anonymous says:

        Basement

        1. PhoenixRises says:

          Chamber of Secrets for me…

          1. Ella says:

            PhoenixRises wins.

  8. Danielle says:

    Hope he fades away really soon

  9. Zoe says:

    AKYL, indeed. This is utterly ridiculous. My friend (who really shouldn’t be, since she has Bieber Fever) told me the other day that when he had his hair cut, a single lock of it sold for 40k US dollars. Insanity!

    1. DeathKiss19 says:

      agreed, one of my friends HAD that sickness, not any more >:)
      she had been avada kedavraed

    2. Carla says:

      well, i have to say i’ve never heard of a friendship being determined by what celebrity you like, but whatever works for you…

  10. DezzieLestrange says:

    A book on his HAIR? oh god, someone kill me. Or better yet, kill Justin Beiber. Then the rest of the population that purchased this book. We would be doing them a favor. AKYL, god you make me sick :/

    1. supersalazar says:

      Hell, I totally agree with you! And I think we shall kill those who buy Twillight and freakingly enjoying reading it.

  11. Erin says:

    I think Justin Bieber is secretly mad at his life since his music is a failure and only girls between the age of 3 and 11 find him attractive. Does that make him a pedophile?

    1. Taylor says:

      oh, come on now! i think he plays a big enough part in pop culture that we shouldn’t be totally in the dark about him. his fans range from little kids to teens- as in high schoolers and some college students included. it’s not that I’m aiming to defend him, he’s just kind of EVERYWHERE, so we shouldn’t underestimate how powerful of a force we’re dealing with

  12. Raksha says:

    You totally copied the last comment from Glee’s Season 1 Madonna episode!

  13. Lady Raziel says:

    R.I.P., Literature.

  14. German Alcala says:

    Yeah, it’s at Barnes and Noble, Apple iBooks, Sony, Kobo, and places I don’t even know! That’s my book.
    My book is part of my resume, and has earned me hundreds in March alone, I won’t even talk about the rest of the year or 2010′s numbers.
    Talk all you want… besides I love your blog and twitter, so hehe you’ve kinda made my dream come true.
    *can die happy now*

    1. Janessa says:

      Now we know who the sesnbile one is here. Great post!

    2. Jonetta says:

      Wow, your post makes mine look febele. More power to you!

  15. Anonymous says:

    In response to Anna: We can only hope…

  16. Maria H says:

    Wow. Everyone from Mark Twain to Charles Dickens must be about to break through their coffins and start the zombie apocalypse because of this “book”, it simply wouldn’t be enough to be turning in their graves at this point.

    1. Michael says:

      Everything you said right there is true.
      I don’t see how Justin Bieber can have a movie, book, and fandom for his music. It makes no sense to me.

  17. lestrange says:

    WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD????

  18. char says:

    oh hell, see this is why I need a van, a bat, and some ropes id take him and Rebecca black into the desert and have them fight to the death.

    after which id have the winner dig a grave and put both of them in it

    all hail the darklord

  19. shweta.gadiyar says:

    Lord Voldemort is quoting Sue Sylvester ??? Halleluah !!!!!! would pay money to watch you both duel :)

  20. Alicia says:

    the kid really isn’t all that bad on his own, it’s just the fuss people make over him. I’ve never understood where the hatred for him as a *person* comes from. i sympathize with the idea of hating his taste in music, but that has little to nothing to do with his personality. he can’t control his fans. he tries and i can respect him for that

  21. Anna Lestrange says:

    ……Literature is my favorite subject….Really Beiber really?!? You know what Avada KeFUCKINGdra! That is all i can say..

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