All everyone keeps talking about is the royal wedding. What will Kate wear? What will they arrive in? Will Prince Harry stumble in drunk and create a scandal? (Answer: Yes). And are you all f**king kidding me? With constant talks about the slow but sure destruction of the world (without even a thank you to me) and how much everyone is struggling, this kind of event is still going on?
Does it seem like the best idea to parade (literally) about, spending upwards of a hundred million dollars on a wedding? This is why “tradition” often is synonymous with greed and stupidity. “Oh but the tablecloths have to be ‘just so’ because that’s how they were in 1643.” Here’s a shocking twist: it isn’t 1643. Turns out people grow and evolve over time. I mean, look at Harry Potter, he used to be a scrawny git with glasses. Now he’s a lanky git with glasses. Things change. I guess the other main concern is that “the whole world will be watching the wedding” and it is “the event of the century.”
Really? This is it? If this is the highlight for the next 90 years then people should give up now. “No, guys… this was the highlight. Nothing else to live for now.” If you want to “show yourself in a good light” how about proving that you’re not the tradition obsessed weirdos who live in the past that we all think you are? Do you know how easy it would be to have a small wedding and donate a large amount of money to charity? THAT would get people talking. THAT would put England in a good light. After being the country to give birth to the world’s most evil wizard, they need it. But no, of course not. Bring on the doileys.